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he ABSTAINER A Monthly Temperance Magazine for circulation in South Wales and Monmouthshire. Communications for the Editor should be addressed to the Offices of the Union 35, WINDSOR PLACE, CARDIFF. Vol. XXI. 4. APRIL, 1910. ONE PENNY. -» 7* eHT^T in tHe ptkf^K- i£- OVERHEARD BY AN EAVESDROPPER. Say, how are vou gettiug on at your Band of Hope ? Not getting on at all. Seems tome we're getting off. Pvotten I call it. Shan't go much longer unless things improve. How's that ? What's on next week ? Oh, same as usual. The secretary announced last week he expected a speaker would turn up. He didn't know. Don't you have a speaker fixed up regularly ? Not likely. Sometimes a stranger drops in " on the hop," he says, and he's asked to " say a few words to the children." He usually gives us something out of the newspapers about murders, or suicides, but little else. Don't you have a programme ? Never heard of one. The secretarv or conductor, if he happens to turn up, calls for anyone who will recite, and some little kids come forward and say the pieces they've learnt at school and that we've heard many times before. But at least you have good singing ? Not a bit of it. We've no hymn-books. The secretary says he can't trust us with them because we tear them. He's never tried us. It seems to me he won't get the money to buy them. What do you sing then ? Well, one verse of " Hold the fort," or " Rescue the perishing," and sometimes we have " Yield not to temptation" for a change. What do you have in yours ? Oh, ours is managed "tip top"! We have a programme printed every quarter. See, here it is. We all get one, so we know beforehand what's coming off. Look, one night we've a chemical lecture ; another a blackboard talk. Then we've a lantern evening ; a spelling bee ; a musical competition, and usually a ripping programme. Our secretary is a brick. He just throws himself into the business and aims, as he says, at having the best Band of Hope in the place. And do the members turn up and behave ? Rather. We get prizes for attendance and. behaviour. Then sometimes a neighbouring Band comes to visit us and give the programme. On those evenings we turn up strong, for the conduc¬ tor says it's only right to have a "large company to welcome visitors and make them feel at home. Quite right. But our programme usually consists of " Hold the fort " ; then a long prayer during which half the youngsters are playing ; a long scripture lesson that scarcely anyone listens to ; and recitations, so called, from some of the little ones. It seems to me ours is not a Band of Hope meeting at all, for sometimes we have not a word of Temperance. Oh, our conductor is strong on Temperance. Every prayer, every hymn, every address, every recitation "must be Temperance. He'd bleed Temperance if he was pricked, and he wants to make us like him. Well, you see, you have funds to buy books? Yes, we pay a trifle now and again, for our conductor thinks we would like to, and we do, but the other night we had a concert, and a full house. It was fine. We cleared £12, and had a rattling good address by Mr. ------on " Bible Tee¬ totalers " I never knew there were so many teetotalers in the Bible. Why don't you persuade vour conductor to get up a concert ? Get away! He couldn't get up a concert. I believe I could if he'd let me. I can play the mouth organ. Tommy Billings can play the flute. His brother is in the band and would bring his cornet. My brother brings his sweetheart to our house sometimes and she sings fine. She's a nice girl, and will help. I think I'll ask the con¬ ductor to let me try. Rather a joke isn't it ? Well, ask him, and if he says "Yes," our society will stand by you, and I'll help to sell a few tickets, and if "you can get ^10 they'll make you president. If thev did, I'd have Temperance hymn-books, and a supply of Temperance recitations and dialogues, so that every member who wanted them could get them. I'd have a Temperance paper monthly for the members to take home to read to their parents. I'd have the walls of the Band of Hope room hung with Temperance charts. I'd put the pledge in the most prominent place, so that everv one could see it. Why, I believe if both of us were presidents we'd shut up all the pubs, very soon. Wait until we are. But here goes for the ^"ro.