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The RUTHIN Illustrated Magazine. To Inform. To Instruct. To Amuse. No. 19. Vol. II. AUGUST, 1880. TWO PENCE. LOCAL BUZZINGS, by. Octavius Oracle. j VTT A qtiick wit often makes up for deficient erudition. I asked a youngster the other day what was the capital of England. He fumbled in his trousers pockets a moment or two; displayed the whites of his visual organs to an alarming degree, and replied. " E, sir." The native dogs of the town are having a lively time of it. By way of amusing himself in his leisure hours some unprincipled homicide has been laying poisoned meat about, which, not exactly agreeing with the digestive organs of the animals, has placed several of them hors de combat. I cannot believe that any other than the most confirmed villain could be guilty of the act, andhe may depend upon it that some day his inhumanity will be suitably rewarded. I think it was Macauly who said : "to gnin popularity you must gain publicity, and to gain publicity you must advertise," and it would appear that two rival drapers in the town have taken the great historian's advice to heart. Far beit for me to disparage the enterprising spirit which animates them. The circulation of trade handbills about the streets by gaudily dressed " runners in " is a capital medium of advertising, provided these gentlemen would extend their liberality no further after they had given one half a dozen of the same thing at as many periods during the day. I am strongly of opinion that something should be done towards removing the inconveniences which corner-men are subjected to. For instance, instead of allowing the poor fellows to stand all day, could they not be provided with easy chairs ? and in case of wet weather with umbrellas? The monotony of their life might also be relieved by letting them have the Daily Papers to peruse. Cigars might be given them occasionally, and a little trip down to Rhyl would not come to much. I cemmend these hints to the consideration of the philanthropic, feeling fully assured that they will not have been thrown out in vain. I am going to ask a personal favour of that campanologi- cal functionary—the Town Crier, Will he pondescend to " cry " in English what he " cries " in "Welsh, and so by give the former-speaking portion of the inhabitants an opportunity of understanding what he says. It is a monoply on his part to make important announcements in the Welsh tongue only, as it would be vice versa. Let him patronize both languages and he will dispense general satisfaction. She was sitting on a camp stool playing a guitar when I first saw her. It was a summer's afternoon, and the sun was shining radiantly upon her. She was playing a favourite air from Maritana, and the man by her side was accompaning her on a violin. Suddenly she stopped; struck a few bars of a well-known melody, and commenced in a low, tremulous voice: Thy f-a-a-a-ce is a-lways near t' me Though g-o-o-o-o-ne far, far, away; It is a vish-un brr-r-r-ight and fair To ch-e-e-e-e-e-e-r me on m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e—(chaos). I left the crowd to enjoy the concluding verses. » * The walking mania is not yet quite extinct. Last week a travelling champion pedestrian visited the town, and essayed several very wonderful feats, one of them being to walk five miles in forty minutes. The gentleman was characteristically attired in white tights, and appeared to be desperately enthusiastic in his work. His performances were eagerly watched by an excited mob of small boys, who have since evinced an alarming disposition to go in for the same "profession." I am unable to say whether the " five miles in forty minutes " were accomplished, or whether, at the sight of the subsequent receipts of the " cockle-shell," the perspiring champion wept in the fulness of his heart. *** Hem ! it does seem peculiar—very, that nobody should have thought of an eye-glass mania before. A fellow looks so much more aristocratic, you know, when he wears an eye-glass, and it's so nice to be sympathised with on the loss of one's sight. Then again, if you don't happen to be sufi. j'ng from the latter infliction you can wear a non- ma^uuier, and look quite as "killing." I am sorry to see that the members of the Cocoa and Reading Booms, which by the way is one of the best institutions that has ever been established in Ruthin, are not more energetic in their efforts to keep the place 'going.' As you before suggested they should get up occasional concerts, debates, etc., so as to enliven the evenings. Those gentlemen forming the Committee would do well to try and carry out the idea now that the winter is approaching. # # There are some rascally destructive urchins in Ruthin, as probably there are in most other towns. A few days ago I happened to watch a billposter putting up some circus posters on the Railway Bridge in Well Street. Scarcely had they time to dry when a band of juvenile de¬ vastators made their appearance on the scene. No. 1, not liking the shape of the clown's nose, ripped it off. No. 2, objected to his right eye, and out it came ; whilst No. 3— less particular than his comrades—despatched the head altogether! But I suppose " youth will have its swing " at any cost.